Dating Someone With Abandonment Issues Reddit

If they are withdrawn or overly jealous, please understand that you have not caused this behavior: they are most likely seeing some kind of parallel between a current situation and something they experienced years ago, and they are reacting to the emotions triggered by that, rather than what is happening now. They may flip out and behave erratically, leaving you puzzled, wondering what you did to provoke such a response, when in fact it is simply them remembering what it was like to be wounded beyond measure and trying all in their power to prevent being hurt that badly again.

Things might get severe at any moment and become hard to cope with. Listening to what they have to say may be painful and disappointing. Please don't take anything personally; that's how they've been trained to think based on prior experiences, or how their mind works. One of the most important things you can do for them is to reassure them. They will be overly sensitive to some things, they will concoct situations in their heads that might lead to a fight because you don't understand what they're saying, and you may be taken aback by what they're thinking since they've never expressed it before. Simply provide regular reassurance and do your best to be heard and believed.

Here are five symptoms that unresolved abandonment scars are affecting your relationships:

1. You Have Difficulties Allowing People In Do you maintain a low profile? Would you characterize yourself as guarded? Are you wary about new relationships? Individuals who have been abandoned have profound trust concerns. They keep people at bay and put up a strong front. They keep their cards close to their vest, and if they do share anything about themselves, it is highly selective. These private barriers shield them from additional rejection and disappointment.